KFC Hot Wings

As most of you know, we live in uncertain times.  An economic crisis, the recession, a time of record unemployment, outsourcing American jobs overseas, a time where eating chicken sandwiches is a political statement, the 99% battling the 1%, and a time of other scary buzzwords and catch phrases you hear in political ads running right now.  Times are tough, and that is no different here in the United Wingdom.  We have to cope with the uncertainty of our times, and make sacrifices to get by.  This includes every facet of life; most importantly eating chicken wings.  So during a recent lunch break at work, when I felt the need for a chicken wing on my very limited time, I made the sacrifice that a good American would make and got KFC Hot Wings for lunch.  It was my patriotic duty, and had almost entirely nothing to do with the fact that I was going to the Taco Bell/KFC combo for a burrito, happened to see their hot wing combo and called an audible at the line of scrimmage to order wings instead of previously said burrito.

I was nervous as I approached the counter to place my order.  Should I really bypass wonderful, sweet, addicting Taco Bell for a gamble on some questionable hot wings?  These promised to be some of the most generic hot wings available, and BOY DID THEY DELIVER ON THAT PROMISE!  A few minutes after making my decision, I received my 5 wing combo, complete with a medium drink and small order of potato wedges for $5.49.  I was offered a side of ranch as well, which I decided to partake in.  Maybe I am spoiled by things like the Wingstop 10 wing combo, or maybe I'm just turning into a fatass, but opening a food box containing five wings is quite disappointing.  Its like opening presents on Christmas morning, just knowing you were getting that sweet video game/GI Joe action figure/Nickelodeon Gak you always wanted, and then tearing off the wrapping paper to see a nice pair of slacks.  But enough about that; I'm the one who didn't order more, so I'm coming to peace with my decision.

So upon opening my container, I picked out a nice drumstick and to into it.  I immediately regretted the decision, as these seemed to have been pulled straight out of the deep fryer and were boiling hot.  So I put the wing down, and decided to partake in the three potato wedges that come in a small order.  Back to the wings.  I typically use dressings such as ranch and blue cheese sparingly when it comes to my actual wings.  I feel that a wing should have enough flavor in its sauce or rub to stand up on its own, but I still will dip a wing in a dressing occasionally.  What I learned about KFC is that they have buttermilk ranch, and buttermilk ranch is not meant for hot wings in this reporter's opinion.  The wings themselves were probably slightly undersized, but that is made up for by the fact that these wings are HEAVILY breaded just like most of their other fried chicken products.  Their flavor and texture was very much like their extra crispy recipe that you would get in a bucket of fried chicken, but with a hint of spice.  There's very few places that I enjoy breaded wings, and these wings have changed nothing.  The KFC commercials featuring highly diverse ethnic crowds would have you believe that these are dredged through an intense blend of hot and savory spices, but there really wasn't any heat to write home about.  That extra little hint of peppers was the only thing distinguishing this from extra crispy.

What this really comes down to is whether or not you like KFC.  I have never been a great fan of KFC myself.  It is decent fried chicken, but there's other place's I'd rather go if I'm really in the mood for it.  If you love KFC, then you'd probably really like their hot wings too.  Also, if you are a huge sissy when it comes to  spice, like buttermilk ranch, or enjoy incredibly generic food, you will probably be a big fan of these wings as well.  If they ever bring back $.50 wings I might revisit these down the line, but until that time I can't say these were even in the same ballpark with some of the others I've had.

KFC Hot Wings
Flavor: 3
Heat: 2
Overall: 2