Pluckers: A big ol' pile of wings

So many wings, so little time.  As you can see below, we recently tore into a big ol' pile of wings at Pluckers off 75 in Dallas.  They were delicious.  Bold claims were made about the Fire in the Hole Challenge.  But let me rewind a bit to how we arrived at this point.

Mid-week last week I decided to hit up my old gang of friends to see if they wanted to hang out Friday night.  I hadn't seen them in a while and had kind of fallen out of the loop of things with everyone.  So as we're talking and getting a plan together, it is decided that Gilly, Erik, John, the Queen and myself will meet up for dinner on Friday.  We usually hang out around Macarthur and 635 in Irving because its half-way-between-us-ish, and the normal debate took place.  Buffalo Wild Wings?  Bostons?  7 Salsas?  Hunan?  We typically go to one of those places, so I figured nothing would be different.  It was decided upon Buffalo Wild Wings.  The United Wingdom rejoiced.  Then it was decided to go to Boston's.  The United Wingdom decided that would suffice since I want to try their wings.  Then at the last minute it was decided.  If we are getting some damn hot wings, WE ARE GETTING SOME DAMN HOT WINGS.  PLUCKERS IT IS!  Now we just have to hope we can get a table on a Friday night.

As we arrived, we get lucky and find a parking spot, and get on the list.  There's a group of ultimate bros ahead of us who think they are actually going to get an inside table for 8 on Friday night at Pluckers in Dallas without a long wait.  Good luck bros.  We got our name on the list, and while waiting decided to have a drink.  I get one of my usuals, the 32oz Dos Equis.  The Queen gets what will surely be one of her usuals, the 32oz Psychedelic Frog.  If I recall correctly, the ingredients are the following:  Malibu Rum, pineapple something, and green.  It is quite delicious, and will get you a good buzz.  Recommended.

So as we finally get a table and get settled, my friends ask what the occasion is.  I didn't know there was an occasion, I just wanted to hang out.  The following is a completely true story.  My friends legitimately thought I had invited them out to eat miniature fried chicken wings and drumsticks at a bar on Greenville to announce to them that the Queen and I had gotten engaged.  These are people with masters degrees from prestigious universities and high paying jobs, and they thought this was how I would make such an important announcement.  They were mistaken, but you bet your ass when the time comes to announce the engagement, it will now be done at Pluckers.

Anyways, we look at the menu and decide rather than all get a bunch of separate orders, we could get a big order and split it.  This immediately sent me into an anxiety attack as I try and figure out how many of what sauce I want.  We decide that we are going to get 55 wings.  Ten a piece of Spicy Lemon Pepper, Garlic Parmesan, Buffalo Hot, Hallelujah, Spicy Mandarin, and five Fire in the Hole just to really punctuate the night.  Then there were harps heard playing and the skies parted as the following platter arrived.

The wings are sort of hard to see, so look hard.  It came with celery, ranch, blue cheese, and we got some Lemon Pepper fries, some regular waffle fries, some sweet potato fries.  Oh and we had fried pickles as an appetizer.  I really don't need your judgement.  I have already reviewed Fire in the Hole and Spicy Lemon Pepper HERE so those will not be reviewed again.  ON TO THE WINGS!

Our first flavor was Buffalo Hot.  It claims to be their second hottest sauce on the menu, and since the Fire in the Hole sauce isn't really a buffalo sauce, the Queen and I were very interested to try this.  I've been looking around for a real buffalo sauce that also has some real heat to it.  I will have to keep looking.  The wings themselves are always great at Pluckers, but this sauce was pretty generic.  It didn't have that vinegary kick I like in a buffalo sauce, and didn't have any impressive heat.  My friend Erik, who is well known to not handle spicy foods well, even said they weren't that hot.  The sauce is still good, but there's other places I will have to go if I really want that buffalo flavor.

Buffalo Hot:

Flavor: 7

Heat: 6

Overall: 7

The next flavor was Garlic Parmesan.  I was a little iffy when we ordered these, because the Garlic Parmesan wings we had at Wingstop were pretty unimpressive.  However, where Wingstop fell short Pluckers delivered.  These had a nice crispy finish with a dusting of parmesan cheese on top, but the difference was that they actually had a pretty good garlic flavor too.  I don't always go for wings of the garlic or parmesan variety, but these were some of the better ones I've had.

Garlic Parmesan

Flavor: 8

Heat: 0

Overall: 8

Our third flavor was Spicy Mandarin.  Normally the Queen is not a big fan of Asian-inspired chicken wings, but she was pleasantly surprised with this sauce.  I pretty much agree with her, so I'll let her do the talking here.  She summed them up by saying "Delicious, but not so spicy".  She thought it tasted like a slightly spicy sweet and sour sauce.  They really didn't seem spicy to me, but it was still enjoyable and will border on the regular rotation at Pluckers for me.  Definitely heavily sauced which is always dangerous with me.  All I could ask for is more heat to them.

Spicy Mandarin:

Flavor: 8

Heat: 3

Overall: 8

Our final flavor was one called Hallelujah.  When we ordered this one, our waiter actually said "Now you're finally getting to a real sauce".  Apparently he was a big fan of this sauce.  We had to ask what it was, and it turns out that Hallelujah sauce is basically some type of BBQ sauce kicked up with Serrano peppers.  This had a good sweet BBQ sauce flavor, and actually had a little bit of decent heat to it with those peppers.  You can actually see the pepper seeds on the chicken, which is ALWAYS a good thing.  I personally thought these were spicier than the Buffalo Hot, which were advertised as hotter.  I really enjoyed this sauce, which is surprising because I'm not necessarily a big fan of getting chicken wings in a BBQ sauce.  I like to keep my chicken wings and my BBQ separate, but sometimes I find something unique like Hallelujah sauce which impresses.  These will probably be in the regular rotation for me.

Hallelujah:

Flavor: 8

Heat: 6.5

Overall: 8.25

So all in all, this was a pretty successful evening.  After everyone took a Fire in the Hole wing to finish dinner, someone mentioned going out for a little FroYo, and once ice cream or frozen yogurt has been spoken of, it is too late to avoid it.  So we went across the street to random FroYo place to stuff our faces just a little bit more.  Once again, I'm not on trial here, and I didn't come here for your judgement.

KFC Hot Wings

As most of you know, we live in uncertain times.  An economic crisis, the recession, a time of record unemployment, outsourcing American jobs overseas, a time where eating chicken sandwiches is a political statement, the 99% battling the 1%, and a time of other scary buzzwords and catch phrases you hear in political ads running right now.  Times are tough, and that is no different here in the United Wingdom.  We have to cope with the uncertainty of our times, and make sacrifices to get by.  This includes every facet of life; most importantly eating chicken wings.  So during a recent lunch break at work, when I felt the need for a chicken wing on my very limited time, I made the sacrifice that a good American would make and got KFC Hot Wings for lunch.  It was my patriotic duty, and had almost entirely nothing to do with the fact that I was going to the Taco Bell/KFC combo for a burrito, happened to see their hot wing combo and called an audible at the line of scrimmage to order wings instead of previously said burrito.

I was nervous as I approached the counter to place my order.  Should I really bypass wonderful, sweet, addicting Taco Bell for a gamble on some questionable hot wings?  These promised to be some of the most generic hot wings available, and BOY DID THEY DELIVER ON THAT PROMISE!  A few minutes after making my decision, I received my 5 wing combo, complete with a medium drink and small order of potato wedges for $5.49.  I was offered a side of ranch as well, which I decided to partake in.  Maybe I am spoiled by things like the Wingstop 10 wing combo, or maybe I'm just turning into a fatass, but opening a food box containing five wings is quite disappointing.  Its like opening presents on Christmas morning, just knowing you were getting that sweet video game/GI Joe action figure/Nickelodeon Gak you always wanted, and then tearing off the wrapping paper to see a nice pair of slacks.  But enough about that; I'm the one who didn't order more, so I'm coming to peace with my decision.

So upon opening my container, I picked out a nice drumstick and to into it.  I immediately regretted the decision, as these seemed to have been pulled straight out of the deep fryer and were boiling hot.  So I put the wing down, and decided to partake in the three potato wedges that come in a small order.  Back to the wings.  I typically use dressings such as ranch and blue cheese sparingly when it comes to my actual wings.  I feel that a wing should have enough flavor in its sauce or rub to stand up on its own, but I still will dip a wing in a dressing occasionally.  What I learned about KFC is that they have buttermilk ranch, and buttermilk ranch is not meant for hot wings in this reporter's opinion.  The wings themselves were probably slightly undersized, but that is made up for by the fact that these wings are HEAVILY breaded just like most of their other fried chicken products.  Their flavor and texture was very much like their extra crispy recipe that you would get in a bucket of fried chicken, but with a hint of spice.  There's very few places that I enjoy breaded wings, and these wings have changed nothing.  The KFC commercials featuring highly diverse ethnic crowds would have you believe that these are dredged through an intense blend of hot and savory spices, but there really wasn't any heat to write home about.  That extra little hint of peppers was the only thing distinguishing this from extra crispy.

What this really comes down to is whether or not you like KFC.  I have never been a great fan of KFC myself.  It is decent fried chicken, but there's other place's I'd rather go if I'm really in the mood for it.  If you love KFC, then you'd probably really like their hot wings too.  Also, if you are a huge sissy when it comes to  spice, like buttermilk ranch, or enjoy incredibly generic food, you will probably be a big fan of these wings as well.  If they ever bring back $.50 wings I might revisit these down the line, but until that time I can't say these were even in the same ballpark with some of the others I've had.

KFC Hot Wings
Flavor: 3
Heat: 2
Overall: 2

Malarkey's Tavern: Spicy Buffalo

Even though I may be wing royalty, as hard as it may be to believe, I still do have a day job to fund the United Wingdom.  Chicken wings, as you know, are a delicacy and the finer things in life definitely have their price.  So I've been meaning to go out and have a beer with my coworker Tubbs for a while, and thanks to restructuring within the company, schedules have been shaken up, and the opportunity presented itself.  We agreed that after we both got off work, we would meet up for a beer at Malarkey's Tavern in North Dallas (http://www.malarkeystavern.com/appetizer.html).  It is located near Trinity Mills and the Dallas North Tollway, which happens to be just a few short blocks from my castle.  This proximity makes for an excellent getaway at the end of the night after someone tries to fight you for telling their best bro that they look like Steve Lukather; lead guitarist from Toto.  Or whatever, you know.  Malarkey's Tavern is a smallish pub-style environment with a wide beer selection at very reasonable prices for those of you who are into that sort of thing.  Which I am.  Having gone there over the years occasionally, I can't say I've actually had the food, but that all changed on this night.

Let me rewind.  Earlier in the day, Tubbs and I had decided we'd go grab a beer after work.  As the day wore on, the projected beer total quickly escalated.  It seems that the projected beer total is directly proportional to how much crap we have to put up with from angry clients.  So after we were both off, we met up at Malarkey's, and quickly got down to business.  Apparently it was a rough night after I left work, so Tubbs was ready to do some damage.  Things escalated quickly after downing a few imported beers that I can neither remember the name of nor actually pronounce if I tried.  Then we kicked it up a notch with a Victory Golden Monkey (9.5% ABV).  This powerful concoction is not to be taken lightly.  It has a very unique flavor that I could only describe as "spicy".  Not in the heat sense, but in the sense that it tastes like it was brewed with a blend of secret Belgian herbs and spices passed down for generations from famous Belgian kings and wafflemakers.

So at this point in the night, feeling quite jolly, it is decided that we should get a little food in us, and wings are decided upon.  After we manage to flag down a server behind the bar (apparently they aren't too interested in seeking us out to take an order), we put in the order and go for Spicy Buffalo flavor, along with a side of ranch and celery sticks as advertised.  After a few more minutes discussing the deeper meaning of life (i.e. drinking Victory Golden Monkey and complaining about work), our plate arrives.  It is showtime.  Tubbs has heard a lot about my status as the King, and I do not want to disappoint.  The wings arrived, and things were somewhat disappointing.  The wings are average to below-average in size.  They are not crispy, and perhaps slightly oversauced.  And as you can see, the celery sticks provided appear to be a few pieces of loose lettuce.  Hey, at least the ranch dressing was right.  So Tubbs calls back the server and asks for the celery sticks, and a few minutes later a plate of celery sticks arrived which I'm sure were spit on.  Oddly enough, that didn't stop us from eating them.  The wings themselves had a decent flavor in the sauce, but not any real heat.  We debated for a while the merits of these wings, and I explained to him the secrets that I look for in a good wing, and we decided these might be a solid 6.5 on the scale overall.  Not too shabby for random pub food.  We continued discussing life's great mysteries over our brews for a while longer before going our separate ways and disappearing into the hot summer night.

After waking the next morning, trying to find the ibuprofen, replenishing my electrolytes, wondering how I got home, and why my car was parked halfway on the front porch, I felt it necessary to revisit the judgement made on the wings from the night before.  In retrospect, I feel I might have gotten a case of the beer goggles.  Except for chicken wings.  If those of us who may or may not have been a little tipsy felt it necessary to award these wings with a 6.5, I can only think that in a state of sobriety these wouldn't have scored so high.

So while I thoroughly enjoy Malarkey's Tavern as a whole (home of the FIVE DOLLAR PIZZA ALL DAY EVERY DAY supposedly), I can't say I was thoroughly impressed with the wings.  I mean, if I go back, I would get them again to try some different flavors, but unfortunately Malarkey's won't be in the regular rotation when I get a craving for wings.  When I get the craving for another Victory Golden Monkey?  There's only one place to go; Malarkey's Tavern.

Malarkey's Tavern Spicy Buffalo:

Flavor: 5.5

Heat: 3.5

Overall: 5.5

Buffalo Joe's: Spicy Joe's Buffalo & Lemon Pepper

So for years I have lived in a castle in North Dallas and have passed by a place at Frankford and Marsh Ln called Buffalo Joe's, and every time I pass by it I have said "Hey, we should go there sometime soon!"  However, we never actually made it there until a recent Friday night (at the suggestion of my Queen).  I naturally assumed that a place with Buffalo in the title would likely offer an assortment of world famous Buffalo wings.  So after we were both off work, we decided to make the trek up the street to Buffalo Joe's and find out just what it was all about.

When we arrived, we immediately found the parking lot to be full.  Come to find out, apparently Friday night is free poker night at Buffalo Joe's, so the place was packed.  As someone who once upon a time supported themselves playing poker, I never really understood the appeal of playing cards all night without any real risk or reward coming to the winners and losers.  But that will be a topic for another time, another place, and another blog.  Let's get back to business.  As we walk in and seat ourselves we do take note of a few things.  Everyone is drinking, nobody is eating, lots of people smoking outside, the water dispensary was broken, and it took forever to get a waitress to acknowledge us.  So it looks like we have cheap drinks, questionable food, a rough crowd, and bad service.  In other words, my kind of place.  They have plenty of TVs tuned to all kinds of sports, which is a great feature if you were DVRing the Olympics and didn't want to see spoilers. Once we flagged down a waitress, we ordered some fried pickles while we looked at the menu.  These were really good, and actually unique.  Most places batter and fry their pickles, but these had been breaded instead of battered.  Made for a unique texture, so we were pleased.  We then ordered a dozen wings to split with half Spicy Joe's Buffalo and half Lemon Pepper.

As I always do, I had the boys down in the lab do some preliminary research on the joint before we went.  Their website, www.thebuffalojoes.com, appears to have been built in roughly 1999 with only occasional updates.  However, they do have one key attraction:  cheap wings.  A dozen for ten bucks, two dozen for $16.99, and four dozen for $29.99.  There is no doubt that these prices will someday lead to a ridiculous challenge of some sort being attempted (prompted by a few cocktails) which will certainly be documented on this site.  The wings themselves were a decent size, above average I'd say.  They weren't particularly crispy, but they had a good flavor.  They were served with blue cheese, ranch, celery and carrots.  As you'll see below, they weren't big on presentation.  Onward to the flavors.

Our first flavor is Lemon Pepper.  These were the crispier of the two.  The Queen noted that it tasted more like an actual lemon butter on the wings as opposed to a light tossing in some type of lemon-pepper-buttery-oil concoction.  They were fairly lemony, had no heat, and could have used a little more pepper in my opinion.  If we go back, I'm sure we will get these again.

Lemon Pepper:

Flavor: 7.5

Heat: 0

Overall: 7.5

Our second flavor was their Buffalo sauce.  The waitress asked if we wanted mild, medium, or spicy, so naturally I said SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!  When they arrived, they had a good aroma to them.  They were less crispy than the Lemon Pepper, and were oversauced.  Why do I dislike too much sauce on my chicken wings?  Because when wings get oversauced, accidents happen.  Just like this night.  As I was picking apart one flapper, the thing slipped, went flying through the air, and I managed to bat it down while managing to not drop it on the floor, while almost knocking my drink off the table.  Disaster avoided, except that I now have a pair of shorts covered in Buffalo sauce.  Some day a scenario like this will likely lead to a trip to the emergency room where I have to explain how the Queen got a chicken wing stuck in her eye.  Anyways, the sauce itself had a good flavor, more on the buttery side than the vinegary side.  The heat wasn't too much; maybe a little step up from Original Hot at Wingstop.  These too will likely be in the rotation if/when we return to Buffalo Joe's.  

Spicy Joe's Buffalo:

Flavor: 7

Heat: 5.5

Overall: 7

So overall, the food was pretty good.  The atmosphere is about what you might expect from a neighborhood bar.  Probably a pretty good place to go watch the ballgame on TV, have some greasy bar food, and some cheap drinks.  Its great to know I have another place close to home should I need to venture out into the kingdom for some wings.  It wasn't quite Saucesome, but a respectable showing nonetheless.  Below is the ad I grabbed on their website listed under their specials.  If you're like me, there's probably one thing that caught your eye in particular.

Yep.  50 cent wings on Tuesdays.  All day.

Sauced Plano: Creamy Cilantro Lime and other stuff

Welcome back all my loyal subjects.  I know I haven't been updating as often as I should.  The production department of the blog has slowed down, but that's only because the research and development department (i.e. me eating chicken wings) has been putting in serious overtime for YOU; the reader.  Anyways, on to our recent excursion.

The Queen and I recently took a trip to Sauced Wings & More in Plano.  We had been to the Sauced in Allen, and we were so impressed that Sauced in Allen has claimed my #1 ranking.  I hate to say it, but Sauced in Plano doesn't even compare.  Yeah, they still have the same great wings and combo fried pickles/jalapenos, but the environment wasn't the same.  The Allen location has a full bar, TVs everywhere, a banquet room you can reserve, music playing, and what seemed like a lot of energy.  The Plano location was smaller, had no bar, maybe one or two TVs, and seemed quiet.  The two locations really aren't THAT far apart, so I hate to say it but if you're choosing between the two, the Allen location must be the choice.  Anyways, on to the wings.

We split an order of the mixed fried pickles/jalapenos, along with an order of fifteen wings split across three flavors (celery, carrots, ranch and blue cheese are part of the deal as always at Sauced).  This time, we went for Creamy Cilantro Lime, Ranch Style, and 3rd degree buffalo (their second hottest flavor).  Reviews were mixed, so here are the results.

The Creamy Cilantro Lime was interesting for sure.  However, two thirds of that name seemed to be incorrect.  There was little to do with both the cilantro and lime in the flavor of the sauce.  This was some type of cream sauce, and I can't personally describe it any other way than it felt like I was eating a wing drowned in Alfredo sauce.  It tasted alright, but just didn't pack a whole lot of punch with the flavor, and didn't seem like what we were expecting.  I think the Queen liked these more than I did, so keep that in mind if you're taking a girl out for a romantic evening at Sauced Wings.  She also mentioned that the seasoning, which lacked both cilantro and lime flavor, tasted more like taco seasoning.  Definitely worth a try, but these will not be in the regular rotation unfortunately.

Creamy Cilantro Lime:
Flavor: 7
Heat: 0
Overall: 7

Our second flavor was Ranch Style.  I have to admit that I wasn't 100% sure what we should expect in ordering these, but maybe I was the only one who thought for even a second that these wings might come out and taste like Ranch Style Beans.  They came out tasting like Ranch seasoning, so someone out there needs to invent a Ranch Style Bean flavored wing please.  Anyways, these were the best of the bunch for sure.  They were crispy, very juicy, and had a nice ranch seasoning dusted on them.  These are borderline as far as being in the regular rotation for me at Sauced.  They were comparable to the Spicy Ranch wings at Pluckers, which we enjoyed as well.  No real heat to these either though, but none was advertised.  Oh well.

Ranch Style:
Flavor: 8
Heat: 1
Overall: 8

Our final flavor was 3rd Degree, which is their second hottest flavor and the hottest among the Buffalo style wings (Instant Death is their hottest but it is a ghost pepper mix, not Buffalo).  These were some of the better Buffalo style wings I've had in the DFW area.  The top Buffalo style wings so far have been surprisingly the Beale Street Tavern in Austin, and these were similar, but not *quite* there.  They were reasonably crispy under the sauce, good sized like all of the wings at Sauced, and had a fairly rich flavor that was a good balance between the vinegary and buttery sides.  The heat was pretty average for being their second hottest wings.  I would compare the heat to Original Hot at Wingstop, so take that to be whatever you want.  Maybe just a smidge hotter (we're getting scientific in the measurements there).  I will likely get these if we go back but I don't want to risk a 12 hours of digestion issues by pounding Instant Death wings, but hey, sometimes I just feel that need.

3rd Degree:
Flavor: 8.5
Heat: 5.5 

Overall: 8.5